Stick a fork in it.

Cadavers

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The Dirty Dozen

The "Dirty Dozen" fruits and vegetables that you must buy organic. Unless you want to wake up to the glow of your own toxic flesh.

Fruit

* Apples
* Cherries
* Grapes, imported (Chili)
* Nectarines
* Peaches
* Pears
* Raspberries
* Strawberries

Vegetables:

* Bell peppers
* Celery
* Potatoes
* Spinach

I've always read that carrots, too, should always be organic because farmers use them to "clean" the fields after the other crops are done.

Based on an analysis of more than 100,000 U.S. government pesticide test results, researchers at the Environmental Working Group (EWG), a research and advocacy organization based in Washington, D.C., have developed the “dirty dozen” fruits and vegetables, above, that they say you should always buy organic, if possible, because their conventionally grown counterparts tend to be laden with pesticides.

Also, there was a recent article in The New York Times about always buying organic milk and peanut butter. I had no idea about pesticides in peanut butter until I read that! Is nothing sacred?

So, we've switched to grind-your-own organic peanuts from the local food coop. It's definitely a different taste, but man, does it smell good when it's being ground. You can tell how much salt and sugar they add to the peanut butter on the shelves when you start eating this. Also, the grind-your-own costs less than the already ground organic peanut butter and you don't have to stir all that oil into it each time.

Second to Last

I had grand plans for this month. A craft project every day! Research on lead poisoning! Research on safe cosmetics! I had a bookmark folder chock to the gills* with good stuff.

And then life pulled my optimistic blanket out from under me.

Not just the issues around my dad but work and feeling very tired and being sick for part of it. I've lost my get-up-and-go. Or at least it was lost. My doctor upped my hypothyroidism prescription and that seems to be helping a bit. I've worked out for on the elliptical at work for 30 minutes 3 times this week. And I was all energized and feeling like starting a project.

And now I have the cough that Aaron and Sophie had. My chest hurts and I've been coughing up nasty, chunky green phlegm in the shower. (Did you know that phlegm is just congealed mucus? I just learned that today. Thanks Dr. Google.)

I emailed my doctor to ask her if she thinks I should make an appointment and she said to wait it out over the weekend and see how things go. I found the humidifier amongst the boxes in the garage and it's now cranking away in our room, waiting my arrival.

Anyhoo, I found some fabric and stuffing material and I'm going to attempt a little stuffed animal tonight. Just to get myself back on track. I should have something to show you tomorrow.

*or is it "packed to the gills"?

Aw, this warmed my heart

Check out this video (thanks Jen and Andrea for the link).

"It was Disability Awareness day and the folks at Fenway did a lot of great things for kids with challenges..here is one who sang and when he got nervous the Fenway Faithful helped him out."

See? People in Boston can be nice on occasion.

Holy Sodium, Batman

How can a can of soup containing 40% of my daily allowance of sodium be so completely devoid of flavor?

Blech. I've mostly given up eating canned soup and packaged meals due to the sodium content, but I forgot to pack lunch today. Or, rather, I didn't pack enough. I found a stray can of chicken noodle soup in my drawer and cooked it, along with a generous portion of frozen green beans.

It tasted metallic and bland (or is "tasting bland" an oxymoron?). And yet I can feel the sodium surging through me. And this was a reduced sodium one. Healthy Choice Old Fashioned Chicken Noodle Soup. Yuck.

Home Stretch

I spent a lot of time this afternoon trying to look into internet/phone/cable options that don't cost as much as Comcast. I think if I want the same connection speeds at home, I'm going to need to stick with Comcast. But I *could* cancel cable tv and then use Skype for phone...I'd save more than 1/2 of what we're spending currently on the stupid Comcast bundle.

Am I ready to give up tv? I'm not sure. Aaron brought up a good point - if we gave up tv, then we'd be fighting over the computer because I'd watch all my shows online. And buying a second computer would defeat the purpose of canceling to save money.

Our library system is really good and we can request DVDs from other local libraries. Sometimes you have to wait a bit for the newest releases but it's free. And free is always better in my book.

I'll keep thinking about this, but I'm leaning towards weaning myself from tv.

Has anyone out there used Skype? Or another VOIP?

Monday

Brain fart day. I was just going to post something really very clever and now I can't remember for the life of me what it was...

I hope I remember later. For everyone's sake.

Update: I've wracked (racked?) my brain and all I can remember is thinking, damn, the Monday after a long Thanksgiving weekend is bad news for bathrooms. Someone was stanking up the place at work. And trying to cover it up with awful room spray.

Sweet dreams.

Home again, home again, jiggity jog

After an exhausting night - thanks Full Moon! - we stumbled through the morning trying to get packed and clean up after ourselves. Sophie woke up around 4 a.m. last night and WOULD NOT go back to sleep. The bed we were on is not very big and it doesn't fit all three of us. So, Aaron slept out on the couch, in front of the wood stove and Sophie and I snuggled in together.

I kept trying to get her to go back to sleep and, instead of sleeping, she whispered to herself for 3 hours: "Shh, Sophie, go back to sleep. Close you eyes. Please stop talkin'. I Sophia, you Mommy. Shhh."

Apparently Aaron had a sleepless night as well because the full moon was glaring into the skylight above his head.

And then Sophie's mood until we dragged her out of there was an emotional trip wire. It didn't help that I was grumpy and Aaron was grumpy and everyone was recovering from a very long weekend.

Also, Sophie's newest phrase is: "Not yet!" It was apparently said a lot this weekend. Poor girl.

Where did the weekend go? We have so much to do around the house to get it ready for winter and it feels like we never have time to do anything.

Belated Thanksgiving

Well, I overcooked the turkey. Sure, sure, everyone said it was good. But the white meat was dry. It didn't take nearly as long as any of the books advised and I avoided taking the temperature until too late because I didn't want to poke it full of holes. It was still fairly good, but not fantastic as I'd hoped.

In other fiascos, the roasting pan my mom had was too small for the turkey and all the drippings, so we went to Bed, Bath & Beyond to buy a new one. Total cost, after rebates, sales, etc.? $6. Not bad.

And then it didn't fit in the oven...so my brother-in-law bent the handles and we managed to get it in. For $6, none of us had a problem with adjusting the pan.

Also, as I was starting the gravy roux, the only whisk was a plastic one. I'm sitting there whisking and whisking and I, at one point, lifted the whisk and it was half gone. Melted. Into the gravy. I did start over, but there was definitely a moment's hesitation about whether to start from scratch again.

It was a good, very busy day. The garage was filled with wood, bellies were filled with food, hearts were filled with laughter and we kicked a case of beer.

Over the river and through the woods

To Gammy's house we go.

We're heading up to my parents' house shortly. My sisters and their families will be there later as well. Turkey cooking is yet to be determined - sometime on Saturday? It will depend on hospital trips, etc.

I woke up this morning to Sophie patting my face gently: "You a very nice girl, Mommy."

Happy Thanksgiving. Woo hoo.

We're having the official meal on Saturday so today was sort of strange. We spent it driving to the hospital, eating at the hospital and driving back from the hospital. This site has become all about my dad, and I really don't want to bore you with the details. It's just that his injury is eclipsing everything else at the moment.

He did have surgery today. He's out. It went well. He's in the ICU for another 24 hours. At least.

Aaron and I are arguing because I'm stressed and lashing out and he's stressed that I'm stressed and he's trying to help but it's not helping. We'll get through it. We always do.

Hold your family and friends tight. Tell everyone you love that you love them.

(Sophie hit the 25-month marker today. She's still awesome. But that's a post for another day.)

xoxoxox

Erika

Smothered

Well, the doctor couldn't find anything wrong with Sophie other than a very persistent cough. We're going to keep an eye on it and report back to him if she spikes a fever or something.

I received two very sweet emails from friends today and the combination of both of them threw me over the edge. I sat at my desk for longer than was comfortable, silently wiping away tears and trying not to cry out loud. It's a long walk to the bathroom, past lots of nosy people and I just couldn't do it. I didn't realize how much I was trying to keep inside. How much I was trying to put on a "everything is fine" front. It's not. I feel like I'm in the middle of my "I'm about to get sick" nightmare I used to have as a child. I'm trying to push something immensely heavy through a maze while feeling very weighted down and the voices of unseen people are urging me to move faster. I feel a lot like I'm going through the motions of life. All of this - life, work, my dad, Sophie's being sick - is smothering and while I know it will pass, I'm not seeing the light at the end of this dark tunnel. The awful weather and the fog and the drizzle are just manifestations of my cloudy mind and I'm hoping I'm going to wake up to a sunny day eventually.

Update

My dad has been moved to a hospital near Boston to be closer to a thoracic surgeon in case things continue to worsen.

We're taking Sophie to another doctor's appointment this afternoon because her cough hasn't gone away and her daycare provider called to say she seems miserable.

I'm sure there's a light at the end of this tunnel. Point me in the right direction, okay?

Holy Crap - SNOW

We woke up to snow this morning. SNOW. It's been cold, sure, but snow? Before Thanksgiving. Holey Moley.

Sophie was very excited - "Is so beeeeuuutiful, Mommy! Look, Daddy! Snow!"

And...then I had to leave for work. It was apparently quite slippery out because I saw three accidents on my way. I live about 3 miles from work. Two rear-enders (-ings?) and one complete spin-out. There was just a dusting on the ground, too. The first snow always causes so much panic. All the talk at work is about how many accidents everyone saw.

I'm starting to get a sinking feeling that when my trees finally get here, we're not going to be able to get them in the ground.

Update: I just went out at lunch and it had stopped snowing, but I had to shove about 2 inches of heavy snow off my car.

A case of the Mondays

I chopped my hair again this weekend. I'm mostly happy with it. Because I can't see the back of my head, I'm constantly playing with it to see if I missed anything. I have. It's a good thing my hair scissors are not downstairs or I'd be bald by now.

We're having Thanksgiving on Saturday due to the traveling of family. We're taking the pressure off my mom and all the kids are going to handle the meals. I've taken on the turkey, stuffing and a dessert for the Thanksgiving meal. I'm going to need to go shopping soon. Any thoughts on how crazy the grocery store is going to be on Wednesday after work?

My father is going to be in the hospital until at least next Monday. That is not something for which I'm thankful.

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

Well, we were going to visit my dad in the hospital (yep, he's still there) this weekend but man with lung issues + toddler with lung infection = danger zone.

We went shopping instead to spend a small part of my 1/2 year bonus from work. Target and Barnes & Noble and a local pet food store.

I'm in desperate need of jeans because I can't find a couple of my favorite pairs. They're hidden somewhere in a box that has yet to be unpacked. And then my favorite pair of Levis just developed a hole by the back pocket. I wear jeans most days to work and having only a couple of pairs that I like is limiting my wardrobe tremendously.

I attempted to buy a pair at Target today but now I'm unhappy with them. I even took the time to try them on and everything.

Ugh. Bleck. I hate changing room mirrors. Just when I was fairly happy with my hair and what I was wearing, I had to go subject myself to that.

Sophie had another hit of albuterol and she was literally running circles around the house. She does seem to be breathing better, so hopefully just a couple more and we'll be done.

And then we head into Thanksgiving with all the cousins.

I'm hopeful my dad will be home for Thanksgiving.

Albuterol = Baby Crack

By the time Aaron got home yesterday, Sophie was vibrating from the combination of prednisone and albuterol. You could even hear the vibration in her voice. She has a very active imagination and yesterday, on the bed before falling asleep, it was on hyperdrive. All her toys were involved: "Dis one the mommy and dis the daddy and oh no! Poop! on my head! I better change your diaper, Froggy. I be quick, okay? Wipe your tush! Wash your hands! Flush your poop! Now get in the car. Sit in back, no you sit in front, here's your car seat. Seat belt! Okay. VROOOM! Okay, we're here! Get in the cart!"

All over the bed. I just lay there and watched. I love to try and follow her train(s) of thought. I was (or, I should say, my belly was), alternately, the potty, the sink, the car and the bathtub (baf-tub).

Aaron came home in the middle of this. Her pupils were the size of saucers.

We barely made it through one book and I turned out the light and she fell asleep instantly. That never happens.

We had to do more albuterol with the nebulizer two more times during the night. I just turned it on and wafted it at her while she slept. She was OUT.

She seems to feel much better today although she didn't have much of an appetite.

In other news, I forgot to mention that we saw our first snowflakes of the season yesterday when we were heading into the doctor's office.

Sick. Again.

Well, almost a year ago, to the day, Sophie came down with a respiratory infection and an ear infection. Right before we left to fly to CA for Thanksgiving.

Sophie's cold has come back. With a vengeance. Last night, she developed a horrible barking cough with lots of scary wheezing and trying to catch her breath. Fever, etc. Dr. Google said it was croup. It certainly sounded like croup (although my only experience with croup was a scene from Terms of Endearment). I tried to get Aaron to call the on-call service at our doctor's office last night but he was sure there wasn't anything they could do. He was probably right. I made the decision, somewhere during an almost sleepless night, that I'd go in to work in the morning and call the doctor's office when they opened to get us in for an appointment. Aaron had to leave the house at 10 - so I'd be home by then to take over. Sophie stayed home from daycare.

She was miserable today. The earliest appointment was at 3:15, so we were forced to tough it out until then. She was definitely struggling a bit for breath with lots of coughing (although now it didn't sound like croup) and lots and lots of moaning and general feeling-yuckiness.

Finally, it was time to head to the doctor's office. We had talked about it before we went: "Okay, Sophie, we're going to the doctor's office. He's going to look in your ears and he's going to look in your mouth at your throat." "Okay, Mommy."

She was amazing at the office despite being completely miserable. She played with some older girls in the waiting room and then talked to the nurse when we were called in the room: "Mommy burned her hand! She said: ow! ow! ow! I kiss it. She needs a band-aid, right?" (I did burn my hand today)

[side note for my reference later: Sophie weighs just about 28 pounds (or 12 kg, 700 g) now - stupid metric scales]

The doctor listened to her breathing, noted that she was struggling, etc. Said he couldn't determine exactly what it was. No ear infections; definitely respiratory. He set up the nebulizer (like last year. In fact, it was the same doctor as last year - not her normal pediatrician. Strange.) and mask and we sat there while it did its magic. She patiently wore the mask while I read her a couple of books.

The albuterol definitely helped and he sent us home with the office Nebulizer 6000 ("NOT A LOANER"), prescriptions for prednisone, albuterol vials for the machine and an albuterol inhaler to work with last year's mask thingy.

Despite her feeling sick, she was still talking up a storm. The doctor came in to check her breathing after the nebulizer and he's the type to only talk to the parents and not the kids. He said something to the effect of: "I think this is the avenue to pursue..." and Sophie says: "Pursue? What you pursue?"

He did a double-take, as if noticing her for the first time. "She's a little parrot, eh?" Oh, she's much more than that, doctor.

My dark circles have dark circles

Gah, Wednesday night television kills me. Pushing Daisies, then Gossip Girl (love that show - soooo much better than The O.C.) and then Dirty, Sexy Money - talk about guilty pleasures. All of you with Tivo who don't remember staying up to watch a show can kiss my ass. My dead-tired ass.

Yes, I could watch a couple of those online the next day, but I like the ambience of staying up way past my bedtime to catch a show.

But now I'm so tired. It doesn't help that it is pitch black outside due to a "Wall of Rain!!!" (local television stations are so dramatic).

Today was also not a good day to break out the straight iron for my hair. I haven't used it in years and now, all of a sudden, I want to straighten my hair. On a rainy day. I'm nothing if not smart.

In other news, I cut bangs into my hair. They look better straightened so I just created a very high-maintenance hairstyle for myself. Yay, me! If I let them air dry, the bangs are short enough to turn into little poodle curlicues. Not the best look for me.

No More Kings!

An oldie but goodie from Schoolhouse Rock

via Americablog

Six Guilty Pleasures

The gorgeous Petya tagged me for a guilty pleasures meme. How could I say no? She lives in Sofia, Bulgaria!

Since Petya cut down the original meme to just the juicy part about secret guilty pleasure, I'm going to follow suit.

Name six guilty pleasures no one would suspect you of having:

1. I love to rip the fantastic, crispy skin off a newly-roasted chicken and stuff the whole thing in my mouth before anyone can see me.

2. I love driving by myself so I can sing at the top of my lungs. A lot of the time I'm singing "The Star Spangled Banner" because the ending is so dramatic. I like to imagine I'm in a stadium and everyone is just blown away with my rendition. It's probably best that no one I know has ever witnessed this.

3. I love squeezing out blackheads, especially when I get a really good one.

4. I discovered a new guilty pleasure this morning: I stopped by the new bakery in town and bought myself a cinnamon twist with blueberries and almonds. It was so utterly decadent and wonderful, it's going to be very hard to drive past the bakery every day and not stop. Another reason to love the new bakery? The baker looks exactly like a young Sookie. It's uncanny.

5. I love, love, love curling up next to Sophie at night. We fit together like puzzle pieces and she is so warm and she smells so fantastic. I never knew I loved snuggling so much.

6. And last, but never least, I love sneaking glances at Aaron's hands. They are enormous and strong and they make my heart flutter.

I'm tagging Ellen, Mia, Erin, Amy and Alejna. In case you want the longer meme, check out Sarcomical.

Sophie says...

In case I don't allow myself a moment tonight to write more, here is your quick "Sophie says..." moment of the day:

Aaron, Sophie and I are lying on the bed after reading bedtime stories and the light is off. We're trying to get her to relax and be quiet and close her eyes. Please Sophie, close your eyes. You are so tired.

Aaron's falling asleep himself as she struggles.

She yells out "Yay!" and I say: "Shh, quiet Sophie. Time to sleep."

She whispers: "Daddy, say Yay!"

Aaron, half-asleep, says: "yay."

Sophie: "Shhh, quiet Daddy."

In other news, we're working on the bed thing.

Where, oh where, has my weekend gone?

Oh, where, oh where, can she be? I cannot believe it is Sunday night. I feel like I just got out of work and now I'm headed back tomorrow. Aaron has the day off, the bastard. No fair. I guess he deserves it, being a veteran and all.

My dad is still in the hospital. He looked pretty bad this morning but had more color later on in the day. He's going to be there for a few more days yet.

It was cold this weekend. It was a long night last night. Sophie handled the "Night Without Mommy" well until about 4:30 a.m. when she woke up and realized I still wasn't there. Aaron showed up with her at my mom's house very tired and worn out and about 2 hours earlier than planned. She still had her pajamas on under her dress. All in all, probably a 5 on a scale 1-10 for handling a night with out mommy.

She gave my dad ("Gumpa") a blue band-aid and he seemed quite charmed.

Gah, I don't want to go to work tomorrow.

I'm off to see my sisters

I'm headed up (and down) to my parents' house to meet up with my two lovely sisters and my mom. We're going to help get the house ready for when my dad gets home from the hospital. He's now at the rehab unit and will most likely be home Tuesday. Ish.

There are chairs to be moved and things to be organized. A new computer to be set up. Wine to be drunk.

This will be the first night ever that I'm not home with Sophie. Aaron's a little nervous but we've been talking to her about it all day so hopefully it will go well. It'll be good for both of them, right? A night off with my sisters and mom will be great for me. And then Sophie and Aaron are going to meet us all for brunch tomorrow before we visit our dad in the hospital. Sophie's bringing Band-aids because we told her he has a big boo-boo.

In other news, I chopped up a shitload of leaves with the lawnmower today and Aaron dumped another whole shitload of leaves over the embankment that all the neighbors use.

We'd been warned by the neighbors that the leaf situation is intense up here and, wow, they were not kidding.

Mulching them with the lawnmower keeps them under submission. Maybe the lawn will look better next year due to all the nourishment. It was looking pretty scraggy (scraggily?) when we moved in.

Sophie says...

Sophie, standing on the bed in her pajamas, looking at herself in the mirror and holding her arms straight over her head: "I da tallest tree I ever seen!"

In other quirkiness, we inherited a little piano thingy from my sister's kids. It's like a synthesizer because it runs on batteries and you can play different beats, etc. It also has a microphone attached.

Sophie likes to turn the microphone up as loud as it goes and cough into it. Over and over again. There's a mirror in front of the piano and she stands there coughing, with her tongue hanging out. I have to admit, it does sound pretty cool.

House Update

This could quickly turn into another long, boring post, so I'll try to keep it short.

We fixed the plumbing mess in the basement by capping off the leaking, cast iron waste line (as in leaking sewage) and getting a new PVC waste line installed. The plumbers also took out the weird basement toilet and fixed the strange kitchen plumbing. And by "we fixed" I mean we paid someone to fix it. Because I've touched enough raw sewage in my tenure as a mommy to last me quite a while, thank you very much.

As mentioned previously, I think, we had some of the wonky electrical strangeness fixed. The previous owner is apparently a highly paid electrical contractor who does not know how to properly install GFCI outlets. All of the ones he installed were not grounded. I should have been an electrician. Apparently anyone can get hired.

We have a new composter! Yay! I'm amazed by how much stuff we were just throwing away. Also, side note, did you know that you can compost (untreated) hair? Including pet hair?

We painted our sunporch floor with lead encapsulating paint. It only comes in white and I didn't think to have it tinted so now there are footprints all over it. At least it's not releasing lead dust.

I have so many projects on my list but I need to hold off on them until we get our tax return.

I'm also looking into the federally-funded Get the Lead Out program that provides 0% loans to...let's see, how did they put it?...get the lead out of our house. Sophie's lead count went up from 2 in July to 4 in October. Whether that change is from the new house or not, I'm a tiny bit panicked that we moved her into a toxic house. I wipe things down every day and wet mop frequently but I have no idea what, really, caused the elevation. The water? Need to get it tested. The old paint evident under the layers of the current paint? Lead in our soil?

More on lead later. My heart is racing again just thinking about it. Every time she throws a tantrum or is moody I panic and think it must be because of the lead. Aaron tries to remind me that she's TWO and that's what two-year-olds do. Still.

I feel like we've done more with the house, but maybe it's just all the research I've been doing. Energy efficient DIY fixes for a long cold winter, etc.

Look how big it is now!

Soon after moving into our new house, I became obsessed with planting some trees. I wanted to be able to say (in an imaginary conversation with someone): "we planted those when we first moved in, and now look how big they are!"

Aaron thought I was crazy what with all the other work to be done on the house.

Luckily, I didn't listen to him.

I ordered trees from The National Arbor Day Foundation (fantastic prices) and they should be arriving soon. They ship them for Fall planting. I'm a tid concerned because we just had another big frost last night* and I'm not sure we'll be able to dig when they come.

I ordered some of my favorites:

Red Dogwood - I think I'm going to put this one near the sun porch.

Fragrant Lilac - to go into the bed of existing (and scraggly) lilacs

Eastern Redbud - front yard? Or maybe near the future patio area.

They included a free Red Maple with my order. Although, hmm, now that I look at it, I was assuming they were sending a red Japanese maple... Not sure if I want to put a huge tree in anywhere. I'll have to think about this one.

Total for 4 trees, plus shipping? $32. Bargain! They are each about 2' or so in height, so it will take a while for them to get to full height.

*Karma tried to trip me up this morning by putting frost on our front steps. I almost bailed, catching myself at the last minute. My heart was pounding, I tell you what. Partly because, holy shit, I almost fell, and partly because Aaron would never, ever let me live it down.

Please send kind thoughts

My dad had an accident this weekend involving a tree branch and a sharp rock - he fell back on the rock and broke and cracked 4 ribs. He's having trouble breathing because there is a small hole in the pleural cavity of the lungs (which should heal itself). He's in the hospital at the moment on strong painkillers.

Please take a moment and send him some healing wishes.

Thank you.

In which Aaron fell down the stairs

I'm an awful, horrible person because my first reaction to Aaron loudly falling down the stairs was to laugh hysterically. Even Sophie asked: "Daddy, you okay? I so worried 'bout you." I laughed and laughed and laughed and tried to catch my breath to laugh some more. I managed to choke out: "Are you okay?" before succumbing to laughing again.

He eventually laughed with me but he still thinks I'm a total, heartless bitch.

The stairs are pretty steep, hardwood, narrow-ish. Sophie and I were at the top, looking out the window at a squirrel eating our pumpkins when all of a sudden, there was a huge racket behind us. (Oh god, I'm giggling hysterically to myself right now as I type this). Sophie jumped and I turned around to see Aaron, on his ass, hitting every step on the way down with legs and arms flailing. He's not saying anything but is just (I find out later) frantically trying to get some traction with his toes and hands as he goes down.

His socks were slippery and he was wearing his slippery workout pants and there was no traction. He landed at the bottom and just sort of crawled away swearing at me.

It was the most awkward falling-down-stairs moment I've ever witnessed. I remember thinking: why is he not stopping? It's not like he's going down head first.

Oh my god, it's still funny - I have tears rolling down my face right now. We need to get the boy some slippers.

Come to think of it - why are they called slippers? Aren't they supposed to STOP you from slipping?

Update: I picked Sophie up from daycare today and we were walking up the stairs to the house and I said: "Be careful on the stairs, please."

She said: "Daddy go Bump! Bump! Bump! Bump! Bump! BUMP! All da way down."

Sunday, Sunday, Sunday!

We're all still battling colds and coughs and general achiness. We had grand plans to go running and do some home repairs and some yardwork but blech, it's cold outside. Sophie still has a cough and we should probably bring her into the doctor to get checked out. Except I can't find our thermometer and they're going to ask me if she has a fever. Which she does. A mild one, but I can't give them a number.

Anyhoo, some punks in our neighborhood stole and smashed our pumpkins Friday night. Aaron was livid: Vandals! Punks! Dirtbags! I was more: eh, kids always do that. He thought we were being targeted but more pumpkins were smashed than just ours.

It was a nice, relaxing weekend with lots of playing and laughing. The time change didn't hurt except the concept of sleeping in has never once occurred to Sophie. We're keeping her up a little later tonight so that hopefully she doesn't wake up an hour earlier tomorrow.

I wish I didn't have to go to work tomorrow.

Happy Anniversary!

And now today is our six-year wedding anniversary.

I decided to have a Halloween-themed wedding since we were getting married so close to the holiday. Aaron's mom was a little worried that we were going to all be in costume. I just wanted to use the idea of Halloween - black and orange, etc., and not have it be a pink and white fairy-like wedding.

We carved numbers into pumpkins for the table numbers, strung orange icicle lights and had orange and black table linens. The caterers were so excited to not have to do the traditional white wedding, that they brought in things from their own homes to decorate the buffet - gothic candelabras and other fantastic things.

I found the Bride of Frankenstein and Frankenstein's monster dolls online and glued them to one of the bases. The wedding cake people were a bit skeptical, to say the least. And then I had my hair dresser do a Baroque-style updo with white streaks up one side.

It was a fantastic day. We were married at the Byington Winery in Los Gatos, CA. The winery staff were wonderful, we loved our caterers and everyone seemed to have a really great time.

Eleven Years.

It's been 11 years since we met. It seems like forever and it seems like yesterday.

I've carried this photo in my wallet since that first weekend. Shortly after this photo was taken, Aaron flew to Hawaii and then straight to Japan where his submarine was waiting. I didn't see him again until April when I flew to Hawaii. It was a long, cold winter in every way.

We weren't supposed to get together. We probably would never have met if the stars and planets hadn't aligned.

Our story:

My friend, J, from high school had moved to Hawaii after college. We lost touch for a while.

Aaron, from California, was stationed in Hawaii with the Navy. Submarine division. He was best friends with E (another submariner), J's boyfriend in Hawaii. J + E got together right after she had decided to move back to Massachusetts. Very bittersweet. But she had a job waiting and had to go.

In the meantime, I was floundering after college. Stupid ceramic sculpture degree. Stupid decision to switch to the local university from UW-Madison (interior architecture) because of a stupid, psycho boyfriend (then ex). I worked at the local toy store, managing things, trying to figure out what to do next. My mom suggested applying for work at a college bookstore near her (also in Massachusetts).

With nothing better on the horizon, I took the job. I moved to an apartment near the college in a town we'll call "Blech". The apartment was depressing and cold and gray and I went through the motions of going to work, going to the gym and going home to sit by myself until the next day when I went to work again.

J, meanwhile, unbeknownst to me, had also just moved to Blech. We figured out, through a mutual friend, that we were living in the same town. We played phone tag for a while until we decided on meeting up for dinner at her place. She had a friend coming up from Connecticut and she was going to cook for him and then they were going out. Why don't I come over?

This was not a set-up in any way. J still can't believe Aaron and I are married. She had known Aaron for a while and she had known me for a while and never once did it occur to her that we would hook up.

Aaron had been hurt so many times in Hawaii and in life. He was decidedly anti-dating. Women suck.

Meanwhile, in Aaron's world: his boat went on another tour into the Pacific and beyond and, because of his seniority, he got to fly to Groton, CT to take some electrical (I think, although for some reason, I keep thinking he was taking copier repair classes...) classes before meeting his boat in Japan. He was taking the train up to Blech on weekends to visit J because it was something to do and because she was the only one he knew out here. We might actually have met on my birthday (the weekend before) except I missed J's phone call to meet them.

Background on me: I had had some very awful relationships. One had recently ended in which, again, I had different expectations of commitment than the guy. I had just come to the realization that it would be much better for my heart and mind to just stop dating altogether for a while.

So, November 1st, 1996. Dinner at J's house. I haven't seen J in several years at this point. But as soon as I aaw Aaron, my whole focus was on him. There was such hurt in his eyes and yet such gentle strength and warmth. Huge, enveloping smile. I was completely, forever, smitten. He was so very much not my "type" and yet I was struck by how much it felt like I was looking into a mirror when I looked in his eyes. The same silent hope and yet the precarious wall of protection against hurt. He was so tall and gangly and wonderful and funny.

We had dinner. I don't remember what it was. Maybe chicken with lime? Wine, laughter, stories. J didn't realize at that point that I was not going to let this guy go. We all went out to the local dive bars. Aaron left to go to the bathroom at one point and I whispered to J that I really liked him. She stared at me in complete disbelief: "Really?" Yes. Really.

I left to go to the bathroom at another point and Aaron whispered to J that he really liked me. J was in complete shock at this point: "Really? She likes you, too. You should do something about it." This made Aaron incredibly nervous because he didn't have any idea what to do about it.

Then J left to go to the bathroom and Aaron got closer to tell me another funny story and, in the middle of the story, he accidentally spit his breath mint on me. It landed on my leg and Aaron said the world stopped spinning. He was overcome with embarrassment and humiliation because how could he ever make a move now that he had spit on me?

Little did he know that I found it very funny and I handed him his breath mint - "here, I think this is yours." Smiling, laughing. The world started spinning again.

There was a spontaneous kiss (where he almost missed my mouth because he was trying to move in very fast) later standing at another bar and then lots of close dancing and more kissing and (Mom, stop reading) he came home with me. All of his things were at J's. We met her for breakfast the next morning and she was in complete shock over the turn of events. Happy for us, just full of disbelief.

He stayed with me for the rest of the weekend and then came up the next two weekends to see me.

And then he was shipped out to Japan for the next 7 months. I wrote and wrote and sent packages and we talked when he could sneak in a phone call.

I flew to Hawaii in April to see him and we made the decision to move in together.

He got out of the Navy shortly thereafter and I flew to California (no way was I staying in Massachusetts with the cold and the snow and the ice - Ha!) in August. The rest is history.

It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown

After much tantrum-ing and flailing and miscommunication, we finally got Sophie out the door wearing the slightly-too-small pumpkin suit. Her choice. All the other costume pieces - hats, scarfs, vests, kitty ears, eye patch, chaps - were left, strewn all over the front entryway.

I wore a cowboy hat and a checkered shirt. Aaron started off as a pirate but he was having many issues with the eye patch and then issues with the hook and then issues with the big hat because Sophie wanted to "hee haw" (ride on his shoulders. He ran back to the house, threw his costume pieces inside, grabbed a glow stick and ran back to us. Oy.

Trick-or-treating was much fun. Our neighborhood is the Place To Be on Halloween, apparently. People went all out with decorations and jack o'lanterns and costumes. Also, almost half of the houses we visited gave out full-size candy bars! Score!

We started out around 5, so a lot of people weren't home yet but we needed to get out the door or we were going to lose our tiny, little window of cooperation and excitement before another meltdown happened.

But, it's a big neighborhood, so we were able to visit a lot of houses and, by the time we headed back, everyone was ready for trick-or-treaters. The loot! This was the place to be! If this is how they do Halloween, I can only imagine what Christmas is going to look like.

We got home, after encountering a scary bat, a huge spider and lots of skeletons, and kept the big candy bars for ourselves and dumped everything else into our candy bowl. Because if the amount of kids roaming the neighborhood was any indication, we were going to run out of our stock very, very quickly. And we did. Aaron ended up turning off our porch light around 8 because we were dry. Except for our stash but, dude, that's our stash.

Apparently the scary flying, flashing bat thingy really left a mark on Sophie's psyche because she could not stop talking about it and I was worried that she was going to have nightmares. So we talked about how it was actually a silly bat and it was so excited to see Sophie when she got to that house. It was flying around because it was saying shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake, shake your tushie! Yeah!

It seemed to work because she slept really well and then, when she woke up, she said she wanted to be a bat for Halloween: "'cause I be silly and 'cause I fly 'round and 'cause I shake my tushie!" I'll make a note: bat for Halloween next year.

In hindsight, we shouldn't have introduced so many costume ideas, we should have waited until the last minute to say, okay, we're heading outside - here's your costume! Yay! Because each new costume was exciting at the introduction but then the excitement quickly faded when she realized: "Not Yet" was going to come. "Not Yet" are deadly words to our two-year-old. "Here! Look! This is so exciting! We get to go out and say Trick-or-Treat! Yay! Let's get the costume ready! Are you Excited?!" ....but, not yet, because we still need to eat dinner.

Yeah, that's where we went wrong.